What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 01:04
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What is the most heartbreaking thing your child has told you?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Trump slams Russia's Medvedev for claiming countries will give Iran nuclear warheads - CNBC
I was very sick at this time too.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I think the readers, may guess!
What do you respect the most about Elon Musk?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She wouldn,t have been !
Xbox Surprises Users With Free Copy of One of its Biggest Games - ComicBook.com
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
What is the difference between Michael Corleone’s marriage to Apollonia Vitelli and Kay Adams?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
What did i know ?
Elon Musk’s Neuralink closes a $650M Series E - TechCrunch
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I write beautiful poetry .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
We were not on the streets..
Stopping alcoholism gets smarter with smartwatches - The Brighter Side of News
I never cut or harmed myself..
Comes on , in middle age.
I was seconnd youngest,
Scientists measure a photonic pulse in dozens of dimensions - Earth.com
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As Trump goes to G7 summit, other world leaders aim to show they’re not intimidated - AP News
And i lived it daily.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why do diabetic people sweat so much?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is soul school!.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So whats the point in blame.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I had hoped to write a book about this .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Ive learnt so much.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
When she asked me how she looked .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She was in good health!
Was to survive, this bastard.
She married twice! .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im still living with it.
I don,t even have a pension.
I waited trembling.
Put me off passion for life!!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He resisted the act ,that day.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I have no regrets .
Who then, do I blame.?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was scared of men, in general
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Especially a lifetime of it.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was 9 years of age.
One cannot live in the past .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But ive been too sick for many years..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My life is so biszare .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
All the time i was locked up.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
So, i spoilt her more .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I will be 64.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I couldn’t, believe it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
We all went to grammer schools
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
But, we were locked up after school.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
It was going to be , some day.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But it wasn’t much.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My family never makes their pension either.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Would this be the day?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She loved him until the end.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He knew the spot.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I said to her
(And it was in our own minds.)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She found it foreign!.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).